Bob Seger?

My house feels alive again. The past 13 weeks while Bryan was gone, it felt like a morgue. I'd come home to no lights, no noise, and not much warmth. The TV stayed black, nothing moved randomly out of place, and I stayed confined to the one corner of the house that had everything I needed. Now when I come home, the lights are on in almost every room, the TV's blaring with music, the counters are a mess, and Bryan's slaving away in the back corner room. We started into the final upstairs bedroom a week or so ago, and just finished painting the walls. Painting is extremely relaxing for me (no it's not the fumes that lull me into a hazy dream world). I like the rhythmic rolling of the brush and the time spent thinking away while accomplishing a mundane task. But it's even more special spending the time conversing with Bryan. I love his silly comebacks to every question I have. Like where's the stepladder? "If it was up your bum on fire you'd know!" Or the quacking ducks and barking spiders that have returned from their hiding places. The best random comeback he had was "At the breadstore". This was used for everything back in the day. Then while he was in Sacramento, he found a place called "At the Breadstore". We laughed our heads off and went there for breakfast when I visited, because now we had officially been 'at the breadstore'. The sound of his truck yelling its way home is wonderful. And the final tap of the throttle right at our pine tree as he downshifts to pull into the driveway is comforting. There's also the telltale signs of his scattered clothes all over the house; from where he was sitting on the couch working on the computer (more like finding every possible image and commentary on the Camaro), to his dirty painting clothes in the kitchen, just outside the bathroom where the unmentionables lie, to the socks from the night before lying next to our bed. Then there's the dirty oatmeal breakfast bowl sitting in the sink, where I've asked him to put it, but not rinsed (which is really weird, because the mornings he's almost late for work it's rinsed, but not the days when he has til noon). And there's the countless water bottles stashed everywhere, and the random piece of garbage in the recycling bag. The best part? Having him on the other end of the couch, like right now while I blog. A house needs life, and I wasn't hacking it. Neither was Bob Seger.

Resolution Steps

I hate when I get the itch to blog, but then have writer's block. How does that happen? I have all these ideas in my head, but they all step back at the same time, as none want to take the lead to start the flurry of thoughts.
Bryan finally completed SMTP and graduated. He only missed one answer on the final exam. And it was one of those questions that is philosophical, such that every answer works. There's not even one that trumps another. Disappointing. Now that this is finished, the next step is to complete the renovations on our home. We want the most equity possible, and adding a bathroom while finishing off the two bedrooms and open basement area will net us five figures. On top of this, we want to complete all of this by March, as the turnover of stores is usually higher at this time of year and we'll have a larger pool to choose from (fingers crossed). This will bring us to our next step, moving. We've lived here for over eight years now. This is the longest residence I've ever had in my life which is really strange to an Air Force brat. I will be sad to turn in the key and walk away forever from this home, but in the same breath I'm excited for new adventure. On top of all these aspirations, we also want to become healthier. Now that we're into our thirties, all the steps we should have taken in our twenties have become brazenly obvious. I'm finally an acceptable weight, but worry that I'll tip the scales the wrong way if I'm not smart. And Bryan needs to rein in his health as I expect him to live to 90. Then for the tippy top step, I've decided to try out my entrepreneurial side, and begin an extremely small business. I don't expect much gain from this venture, other than experience and maybe some courage to jump off these steps into a larger business one day. We'd be good at this, but unfortunately (maybe?) my realistic side keeps my hand gripped to the staircase rail.

More Hawks

We were out driving today and noticed a massive hawk on a post. It was the biggest I have ever seen, about 18" tall while on the post. As I got out of the truck it took off and hid in the field. We then went about a mile down the road and came across another hawk not near as big. It had an injured leg and didn't move much. He moved from one post to another not far away and I was able to get a few shots. I love these birds.

The Christmas Gift

A few years ago I fell flat on my face when it came to giving my Christmas present to Bryan. I thought I had found the perfect gift and was overly excited about my idea. When Christmas morning came and the surprise was a podometer Bryan was disappointed. He had saved money from several side jobs and had bought me a Kitchenaid mixer. I was devastated. How could I have been so far off?
Since that Christmas, I spend every November racking my brain for ideas and have been successful in coming up with the perfect gift. Then this year, I was at a loss. I had gotten him a bow, medium format camera, and a fixed 200m lens for his camera and didn't know how I could trump them. When Bryan was home a couple weeks ago, we went Christmas shopping, and stopped at Al's to pick up the gift idea we had for my brother. While we were there, Bryan had to make the usual stop at the gun counter. This time, he only looked at the .22 rifles. Usually he looks at the shot guns, hand guns, specialty guns, and so on. When the guy at the counter told him the price, Bryan swallowed and gave it back. Little did he know that his gulp gave me an idea. I was lucky (?) that he was going back to California for training, and would have plenty of time to get his gift. I went on one of my lunches, so he wouldn't be suspicious if I wasn't available after work. The guys at Al's thought I was a wonderful wife. And the background check was a little interesting, as I was born in England, but am an American citizen. I even had enough time to make a really nice card, wrap up his present perfect and drop it off at my mom's the next time I picked him up at the airport. My brother happened to notice an extra gift under the tree several days later, and asked my mom "WHO'S GETTING THAT?!" I also bought some ammo and a bore snake for the new gun, and wrapped those too. This way, Bryan would have no idea that his gift wasn't really at home, and wouldn't be able to guess his gift due to the weird shape it was.
Christmas morning finally came, and as we passed all the presents out, Bryan came across the 'true' present and couldn't believe what I had done. I even had written a special note inside the handmade card, but as he started to read it (with me looking over his shoulder) he stopped about 2 lines in. Both of us had tears in our eyes. The gun wasn't the real gift. It was the fact that he was home, finally home. It wasn't too hard to hide our tears, as everyone was happily ripping into Christmas gifts, but my mom noticed. She took a picture of us in a tight hug, smiles from ear to ear. I don't think I'll ever be able to trump this Christmas.

Hawkeye

I was letting the dogs out when I saw this massive hawk in the neighbor's tree. It was so big that while it was sitting in the tree I thought it was an eagle. I ran inside and grabbed the camera. when I went out it saw me and immediately took off. It circled around me screaching over and over. It was staring right at me but never got close enough for a good shot. These are from about 75yds. The pics are terrible, no filter, no time to set up, wrong iso, etc. It's wing span must have been about 4ft, biggest hawk I have ever seen.

Day 61

It's been 10 long weeks of driving to the airport every weekend to drop off and pick up Bryan. It's an hour and half drive one way, and longer when I come home by myself to face a week of loneliness. The past couple weeks have been extremely difficult. My coworker quit; him and I were the backbone to the small business I work for. And now I'm alone to do his job and mine. It's been a struggle, as I tend to stress a little too much at times. Without my best friend to give me hugs, take me to lunch and reassure me each time I panic, I turn into a dreaded 'bagel'. But that's all behind me now. The end is in sight. California is finished; no more worrying about Bryan being stabbed going to work, or having his rental car stolen, or dying in a freak air crash. I've missed his presence here. He is my happiness. Last night when I picked him up at the airport, I was too excited. I hurridly cut off several SUVs in my tiny white Honda, to screech to a stop at the curb. I actually remembered to pop the trunk as I flung the door open and ran to hug him. The drive home was happy for once, as I knew he would be here for two weeks, before the final week is to be completed in North Carolina. I was so animated and couldn't stop chattering about anything and everything. I'm sure Bryan was overwhelmed, but his smiling face, and death grip on my hand let me know he had missed me as much as I had him. Even though it's cliche, the time apart helped us learn how much we rely on each other.
When I was a child, and my sisters and I had hurt my mom's feelings, my dad would sit us down and talk about how we had hurt his best friend. How would we feel if he had hurt our best friend? Those conversations stuck with me. The idea that my dad saw my mom as his best friend was wonderful. And I couldn't wait to find mine.
I found more than a best friend in Bryan, I was given a soul mate. And it's been difficult being apart for so long. I'm glad my best friend is finally home.

Climate Change Summit

The current discussion of global climate change in Copenhagen has inspired me to repost the only sensible solution to global climate change. This was a posting from september of 2008.

Our recent experience with "global warming" has compelled me to stop and re-evaluate my position on the matter. This entire year has seen temperatures below normal highs in our area including snow just last Monday. Maybe there is something to this "global warming". When I was a kid CFC's from moms hairspray were going to tear apart our ozone layer and kill us all slowly with skin cancer, then came Hydro Carbons that threatened to combine in our atmosphere to create disaster for our ozone once again. Now a new threat has emerged since the others failed, and our end is near. Carbon Dioxide an inert gas is going to sneak in and slow cook the earth while we sleep. Well I for one am not going to stand here and watch the world go to hell in an easy bake oven. As mammals we take in oxygen and exhale the earth raping, baby killing, destroying angel, "Carbon Dioxide", sometimes referred to as CO2 in demonic worshipping circles. My solution is simple, if you feel that it's time to do your part to save the earth from CO2 then you must remove yourself from the earth. Devoted earth savers can band together and board ships to jettison into space preventing the poison gases from being released on earth. If you can't find anybody as faithful as you or can't find a way to get off the earth then maybe you should just hold your breath until they come up with a new way for the earth to fall in to peril.

Please go to the following link for a video presentation, it might just change your life.http://www.fubiz.net/blog/index.php?2008/09/18/2229-global-warming-quercus