Thursday, August 5, 2010

Close Encounters of the Flower Kind

Remember how cute Flower was in Bambi? Skunks are more like the Christmas Critters that appeared in South Park.
I awoke tonight to the sound of Nivia barking. Unfortunately, we have crabby old neighbors who freak out at any noise that emanates from our yard. They called the police once about our dogs, and have written official complaints to the city. She had only barked a string of 5-6 barks, but it was enough to get me out of bed to tell her to hush up. I went to the back door, opened it and was blasted with a wall of the most horrible smell you could ever encounter. Nivia would hardly listen to me, as she was in a panic running around the yard with her nose in the grass. It was then that it hit me...my dog had found a skunk. In her curiosity, Nivia had been at the back fence line barking at a noise, which happened to spray her for her gallantry. I couldn't be mad, as it wasn't her fault that a skunk happened to be hanging out in the very backyard of the crabby old neighbors. I slammed the door shut to realize with every window open in our house to allow the cool night air in was also allowing every drop of the skunk's spray. Good grief. I hopped on the internet and found what would work best for removing the smell off Nivia. Come to find out that skunk spray is actually an oil which is why it is so difficult to remove. Several sites mentioned to use Listerine, along with a formula by a chemist of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and soap. I gathered all the materials and a wad of paper towels, along with my cleaning gloves. I then suited up. I put on old jeans that barely squeeze over my butt, a painting shirt, and a tatty old hoodie. I tied my hair up and used Bryan's three handkerchiefs to wrap around my hair as well as my face and nose. I used a pair of beloved old shoes, put the gloves on with the long sleeves tucked in and took a deep breath. Out I went into the putrefied night air. Nivia behaved pretty well to all the treatments. I used paper towels soaked in Listerine around her nose, eyes and ears. I then rubbed her chest down and her back. I washed this all off with a heavy dousing of soap. Next came the hydrogen peroxide and baking soda concoction. The sites mentioned it would foam and possibly bubble, but none of that really happened. I rubbed Nivia down all over with this, but kept it away from her face, as all the sites mentioned whatever you do to not get it in your dog's eyes or mouth. I rinsed her off and then soaped her again with a final rinsing. My poor baby girl was shaking from head to toe. Normally she's quite hyper during bath time, but I think she realized she needed the help. Once I was finished, I stole out to the front yard, and with Bryan keeping watch and armed with new clothes, stripped down to panties. All my clothes, along with shoes, gloves and handkerchiefs were thrown into the trash. I came inside and got showered. Luckily I don't smell. My chemical suit getup actually worked pretty well. However, the house is rank. I've sprayed what I have left of Febreeze everywhere, but I'm going to need to buy more. But that will have to wait until later this morning; yes this morning. It is now 2:26 am. Good night never never land.