Confessions of an Overweight Chicken

Sunday, April 26, 2015

It's been a while, some pics from our small adventures











Posted by Crimson&Howitzer at 12:19 PM No comments:
Newer Posts Older Posts Home
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Tag you're it!

  • Crimson Confection
  • dhs Design
  • SuzyQScraps
  • Elicia
  • Marci and Spencer
  • Criscell and Spencer
  • Durrant and Jill
  • Laura and Peter
  • Camaro5
  • Hendrick Marrow Program

The Fat Kid Goes Eatin'

Finger rating indicates number of fingers I would willingly part with to eat there if food became scarce. Really bad restaurants will require I get to cut off the chef's fingers (influenced by two Bruce Willis movies...try and name them).



All critiques are solely the opinions of the contributor. Crimson & Howitzer are in no way affiliated with any restaurant nor have they received any reimbursement or entitlements from any restaurant. However we may be willing to accept FREE food in order to rate a previously unrated or poorly rated restaurant. If Crimson turns down any food or doesn't finish the food on her plate, Howitzer may deem it abandoned and consume said food as to not insult the starving children in China. If you are unable to finish the food on your plate please contact Howitzer for instructions on donating your transgression to a nearby fat kid or starving kid from China. Crimson & Howitzer are not liable for anything, especially any experience resulting from the opinions of this bloviation.

Zucca Trattoria, Ogden Utah; Italian, 1 of my fingers. :)

Aggy's, Supposed sports bar, Logan Utah in the building formally belonging to the Iggy's that went under All 10 of the chef's fingers. :(

Hamilton's, Logan Utah; Steak&Seafood, 5 of my fingers :)

Ruth's Chris' Steak house, San Francisco California; 9 of my fingers :)

Ruth's Chris' Steak house, Roseville California; 6 of my fingers :)

Ruth's Chris' Steak house, Park City Utah; 1 of my fingers :|

Ruby Tuesday's, Logan Utah; 8 chef's fingers :(

Black Angus Steak house, Sacramento California; 5 of the chef's fingers :(

Sticky Fingers, BBQ, Concord North Carolina; 3 of my fingers :)

Carrabba's, Italian, Asheville North Carolina; 3 of my fingers :)

Carrabba's, Italian, Huntersville North Carolina; 2 of my fingers :)

Mickey&Mooch, Steak&Seafood, Huntersville North Carolina; 4 of my fingers :)

Bob Evans, American, Huntersville North Carolina; 10 of the chef's fingers :(

Lorena's, Mexican, Woods Cross, Utah; 4 of my fingers :)

Ho Ho's, Chinese, Bountiful, Utah; 4 of my fingers :)

Moochie's, Philly Cheese Steak, Salt Lake City, Utah; 4 of my fingers :)

Grove's Market, Deli Sandwiches, Salt Lake City, Utah; 4 of my fingers :)

Caruso's Deli, Deli Sandwiches, Salt Lake City, Utah; 3 of my fingers :)

Blog Archive

  • ►  2016 (3)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  May (1)
  • ▼  2015 (5)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ▼  April (1)
      • It's been a while, some pics from our small advent...
    • ►  February (1)
  • ►  2014 (12)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  August (1)
    • ►  July (2)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ►  May (2)
    • ►  March (1)
    • ►  February (2)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2013 (25)
    • ►  December (2)
    • ►  November (3)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  August (1)
    • ►  July (4)
    • ►  May (3)
    • ►  March (4)
    • ►  January (6)
  • ►  2012 (42)
    • ►  December (3)
    • ►  November (3)
    • ►  October (2)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  August (4)
    • ►  July (2)
    • ►  June (3)
    • ►  May (6)
    • ►  April (7)
    • ►  March (3)
    • ►  February (4)
    • ►  January (4)
  • ►  2011 (37)
    • ►  December (4)
    • ►  November (3)
    • ►  October (4)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  August (2)
    • ►  July (4)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ►  May (3)
    • ►  April (5)
    • ►  March (3)
    • ►  February (2)
    • ►  January (5)
  • ►  2010 (41)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  November (9)
    • ►  October (5)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  August (1)
    • ►  July (2)
    • ►  June (9)
    • ►  May (1)
    • ►  April (3)
    • ►  March (2)
    • ►  February (4)
    • ►  January (3)
  • ►  2009 (45)
    • ►  December (5)
    • ►  November (7)
    • ►  October (3)
    • ►  September (2)
    • ►  August (4)
    • ►  July (4)
    • ►  June (2)
    • ►  May (5)
    • ►  April (2)
    • ►  March (3)
    • ►  February (5)
    • ►  January (3)
  • ►  2008 (22)
    • ►  December (2)
    • ►  November (2)
    • ►  October (2)
    • ►  September (3)
    • ►  August (3)
    • ►  July (4)
    • ►  June (6)

'70 Camaro - The Super Hugger

Nostalgic Muscle - Fast lap in a '70 Camaro

Suburban Dictionary Word of the Month

Fenster - When someone betrays you with the intent to better their own position while making a mockery of you, they are a Fenster. Some background: Fenstermaker is a lawyer that is representing the terrorists being tried in New York. He appears to take joy in giving these psychotic mass murdering terrorists a recruiting platform as they make a mockery of our country. Also a Fenster in geology is a hole or outcropping of underlying rock that is revealed by erosion. The erosion of our government is revealing the real scum that hold positions of power and affect our lives. 12.02.09

Stoplight - You know those songs that get stuck in your head and make you sing along when you know nobody can hear you in your car? But what happens when you approach a red light, your hand subconciously moves to the stereo and turns the volume down to an unnoticable level. That song wasn't Stoplight worthy. Now there are songs that when you approach a red light you don't mind that the windows are down and your speakers are cracking. Those songs are Stoplight. 11.02.09

McScab - Recently the golden arches ran a limited time sandwich to honor their best customers. A McScab is simply a cohabitating single couple with three kids, living sandwiched between two meth labs. For a McScab the golden arches is high end dining. It's not that McScabs are too poor to afford anything better than McD's, it's just that they would prefer to spend their money on massive amounts of Virginia killin' sticks, Keystone, and lotto' tickets. Beware the McScabs that you may come in contact with as they have no respect for any property. You'll notice their cars in the Wal-Mart parking lot, every corner has a scuff of someone else's paint and the mirrors are held on by duct tape. Don't park next to a McScab or you will end up with a door ding. When you are shopping at the Wal-Mart you'll notice the McScabs as they pass wearing soiled sweats old tenny's and no socks. The grease from their hair could be sold to wax the floors in the grocery area except the smell of moldy cig ash and mastiff urine would surely keep customers away.
08.31.09

Monet - A person who is hot from a distance. But as you get closer, you realize you were deceived, just like the million globs of paint in Monet's work. 03.19.09

Swass - Short and sweet, swass is a sweaty ass crack that requires a wipe. Sorry no way to doll it up. 01.28.09

Blow Dart - Since the beginning of time men have saught new ways of offending others in their presence and becoming king of the offensive hill. In the early days it was the "silent but deadly" that set apart men from the people. Then came the "butter cup" which was far more offensive but easily recognizable which made it difficult to perform without defense from the victim. Now I give you my invention of offensive tactical brilliance. You first begin the motion of a "butter cup" by cupping the munition as it is released from the arms depot (ass). Then you hold the munition tightly in your hand and approach your victim. The munition can be delivered from behind or from the side of your victim concealing your actions. Bring the side of your fist to your mouth and gently open your fist just a little. Now blow through the fist and deliver your ass-ass-ination to the victim. Warning: Do not inhale. Inhaling would surely render a person unconcious from the extreme concentration of methane. 12.30.08

Sloth - Allow me to preface, I have struggled with my weight for some time now and not near the extent of some people. I only consider someone to be fat when they make no attempt to better themselves. By attempt I mean simply attempting to do everyday things like get out of bed, walk from room to room, and God forbid push a shopping cart. I run a very large retail store and every day I see the Sloths rolling through the store. An elderly lady asks me, "where are the motorized carts?" and I have to explain that they are all in use. I would love to say the Sloths have them but I can't. If you are capable of walking then damnit walk! Now before you get your panties in a bunch realize I'm not referring to those people that may have medical conditions that make it necessary to use the motorized cart. Some overweight individuals may in fact need to use the cart, they are not Sloths. Sloth is defined as "Aversion to work or exertion" So those that are so fat and lazy that they won't push a shopping cart around and let the 98yr old woman drive the cart, those people are Three Chinned Sloths (Bradypus Canklelytus) and when they ride the cart it becomes a "Cannula" not a cart. A Cannula is a surgical tool used for extracting the fat during liposuction. 12.05.08



Wassail - When you are laughing so hard that every muscle in your body is convulsing, the pressure in your bladder builds like a balloon. Your urinary sphincter is pushed to the breaking point, then it happens, wassail. As you calm down and catch your breath you realize you left a little drop, a little reminder of how close you came to all out pissing your pants. Why wassail? Wassail is a warm, golden, spicy, strange smelling liquid, yummy. 11.13.08




Fluke - Sometimes called whale tail, a fluke is when a girl bends over revealing her thong climbing up her back. Not becoming of a woman and down right offensive in most cases. Fluke is easier to say than whale tail and people likely will not realize what your talking about.
08.26.08

Plasma - When you pass gas and it is so hot you begin to wonder if it was wet. Plasma being a super heated gas is the only thing you can call it. "ewww I better check that one"
07.27.08

Tractor Beam - When you are walking past a stationary object in bare feet or just socks and you know you have enough room to swing your leg past but somehow your toe is pulled right into the object causing spitting, dancing, muffled yelling, tearful pain. 06.29.08

Quitter - When your sock slowly works its way down into your shoe causing you to have to pull it up. 06.06.08

Where in the Heck

Locations of visitors to this page

One little, two little, three little indians

track web page visits
Desktop accessories

Awesome Inc. theme. Powered by Blogger.