Goals in Baby Steps

It's been a really long week. The first couple days were spent trying to get my contractions under control. Then the next couple days were spent getting steroid shots and magnesium just in case the babies did come early (the steroids are for their lungs to help with breathing air, as they're not fully developed at just 24 weeks, and the magnesium is to help with their neurological development). Then it's been blood draws every day, along with an IV of antibiotics and now iron. The doctors are befuddled. There's been research done which shows the white blood cells start moving in preparation and release enzymes that begin to break down the tissue of the cervix for when a baby is ready to be born. My test results show my white blood cells are moving. After three straight days of blood draws at 6 am (and believe me, it's very strange waking up to state your name and DOB then get poked for blood), one of the maternal fetal specialists made the call to stop the blood draws. She decided there was no point in freaking out about this particular test result. My cervix has gone from 1 cm to 1.7 cm, which is great news. I figured once I started to 'flatten out', there was no going back. I was monitored for my contractions up until Tuesday, when the doctors decided to stop that as well because there was no rhyme or reason to them. I have many all day long, but I rarely feel any of them.
Today I got approved to go on a wheelchair ride. Bryan took me down to the cafeteria and we got individual pizzas. It was wonderful to get out of my 6x6 room, even though it was still within the hospital city limits. The nurses are all very sweet, and I have a sneaking suspicion they beg to have me as their patient. The nurse I had today, Erin, made the comment I was very low maintenance, and kept reminding me I am more than welcome to bug them for any and everything. They all can't believe how much work I do each day, and were blown away by how little the magnesium affected me. They kept asking me over and over again "Aren't you on magnesium?" I was affected, as I had become a normal human being, but they don't know me well enough to realize my super human powers were zapped. I also was moved to the penthouse suite. It's the only room on the maternity floor that has a view of nature, rather than hospital or parking structure. I watched the sunrise yesterday. The pinks and oranges were beautiful, and I was glad the northwest weather had abated just for me.
All of this is frustrating. I long to go home and continue bed rest from there, but then I have second thoughts and realize I probably really should be still here in the hospital. The maternal fetal specialist commented today it's better to be here, than for years question yourself with the What Ifs, if in fact the worst happened. The current goal is to keep me here until 26 weeks, which is 1 week away. Then my status will be re-evaluated and a new goal will be made. I have a feeling I will probably be here until week 28. I truly hope not, but if so, at least I know the babies are still growing inside me where they should be, and not inside incubators.
My sanity is being kept by my work each day, and the daily phone calls and texts from family. My boss today talked about what could be done to help me, meaning what work could be taken away, and I found myself almost begging to keep it, as I need it to keep my mind from wandering into shark infested waters. I'm also glad hospitals have gone away from the no cell phone days, as not having that connection to the outside world would be difficult. The many thoughtful texts and phone calls I've received have helped the time to pass and allowed me to vent my frustrations and worries, and helped me see how many care about our small family. But the highlight of every day is the 20-30 minutes I get each morning when the babies' heartbeats are monitored. The sounds of their racing hearts is soothing to my ears, and I love listening to them gallop wildly along. Who would've thought I would find something I would actually miss about hospital bed rest?