Sasquatch

The panic has begun. This morning I woke with my mind ablaze. I had a million thoughts bungled inside my head and laid there slowly working myself into freak-out status. To help, I did what I do best, create a list. I sat down with my sasquatch notebook (the first week I was here in Vancouver, I needed a notebook. I went to Fred Meyer and started looking through all the office supplies. Once I found the notebooks, I spent several minutes trying to decide which one would work best. Then I saw the sasquatch one. Talk about a genius market idea, and a little predictable. Of course I had to have it. Besides, it came with a pocket in the front as well, handy for all the business cards I've been given in the last 3 weeks). I then made a page for every day this week, and started listing what needed to happen for each one. At first, my list had the calming effect I was needing. However, it slowly turned into sadness and delved into slight depression. It's the beginning to many lasts. Tomorrow, Bryan and I fly back 'home' for the last time...a few things will be fixed by us for the last time...it is our last week in our first place...I will clean my home for the last time...
We bought our home in the fall of 2001. Not long after 9/11 when the world had lots of uncertainty. Yet, we were at an age when the world was ours to conquer. I knew this would be our first home, but thought we'd only live there for 3-5 years. The 3-5 turned into 9 years, 1 month and 1 day. The spring after we moved in we borrowed a camcorder and made a tape of our first place. Now we'll load our camera and tape the end. Instead of big smiles and silly laughter, it will contain long faces, bright eyes and detailed explanations of what we accomplished.
Old age brings new uncertainty. Will the choices I made in my twenties have good lasting affects for the choices I am making in my thirties? Will I have the good sense I did at twenty with buying a home in a wonderful neighborhood with lots of potential into my next home? Life is full of new goals now. In November 2001 it was all about proving to ourselves and the world (mostly our parents) that we could be responsible adults. We would own a home, and take good care of it. We would create a family atmosphere that all would want to be a part of. We would set the foundation for our retirement. We would be self-sustaining. Now, in November 2010, it's all about adding to those original goals. Still being the responsible adult, and making wise investments. Investments that will allow us to help those we care about. To continue the home that is inviting to all, just in a new location that may become adventurous vacations for our extended family. Most of all, adding a new layer to our cornerstone. On paper all our plans and goals look sound. But that was the easy part; making that list in the comfort of our habits. Now that our habits have been jumbled up, I hope I'm able to wade through the mess of packing, hauling, and signing to see the end goal clearly.
So armed with Sasquatch, I will link arms with my thirty-something comfortable life, and allow the young twenty-something to emerge and conquer this world.